It’s been a while since I’ve updated this blog and what better way to get back into the swing of things than to introduce you to a new series I’m working on, it’s called Boss Babe! Every month, or every other month – or, whenever life allows if we’re being real, I plan to feature an incredible woman-owned business, often local, to highlight. Sometimes, this will include a video, other times it might just be a blog, sometimes both. It will all be candid, mostly unedited, full of authenticity. So often in the world, women are pitted against each other, but the reality is, we do better when we work together. I fully believe in the power of collaboration over competition, especially with my fellow lady bosses. The goal here is to highlight small businesses and WOMEN. You’ll find the conversations to be full of laughter, insight, good ‘ole chit-chat, and of course, business. The power of supporting other women is something that I strive to do every day. There’s nothing more powerful than connecting to your fellow goddesses. The first boss babe I am featuring is Carrie Hauskens, an incredible woman who specializes in coaching women going through infertility.
Carrie is an incredible woman, who handles every difficult thing thrown at her with honesty, emotion, humor, and so much more. We had an amazing time catching up via zoom. Watch the full video of our chit-chat here, or read the abridged version below, as we talk about her business and infertility, female entrepreneurship, pivoting business during covid, and other life conversations!
So tell me about who you are and what you do?
My name is Carrie and I started Blooming with Care.
I initially started building my business as a life coach for women struggling with the side effects of infertility. I say side effects as in the way infertility may impact and effect other aspects of your life. I always like to say I can’t keep or get you pregnant, but I can keep you calm and collected while you try.
What made you start a business in infertility life coaching?
I started this business because I am currently still trying to have a child but my first 4-5 years of trying, I was a mess and felt like I didn’t have anyone to talk to or understand how i’m feeling. When I did the self-work for myself, I just thought “OTHER PEOPLE NEED THIS” and decided to share it with others.
I started out coaching online, then started a curriculum (a workbook) that people can buy, and most recently I just launched some online courses that have gotten a lot of positive feedback. It’s more accessible to people, affordable, and something that people can work on at their own pace.
I just like showing up for women, in a way that I needed.
I started talking to my friend about it, and she suggested that I started my own business, to help other women.
What is your favorite part of starting a new business?
Learning to market myself. I’ve never done that for myself. I’m trying to approach marketing like psychology, thinking about what people like, what they are interested in, and trying to take it from that angle.
What makes your business so different? Is it the vulnerability? The authenticity of it?
When I talk to people now, one of my favorite things is that people cut the crap real fast and get very real, very quickly.
I’ve always been an oversharer myself, even though I think it’s the right amount. I do appreciate that when I come into contact with people that they want to talk about the real stuff. I feel very honored they want to get there, let’s talk about it.
I really work with women who are dealing with infertility but a big part of that is dealing with grief. Everyone experiences grief, and if you haven’t, you will. That aspect of it has really changed my life: letting go of the life I thought I wanted to live, losing my daughter and being genuinely okay with it, and still being able to honor my wounds in a way that is healthy and productive while still moving forward. I love that I get to combine all of that. It helps me but it also helps others, it’s an opportunity to go through healing together.
Are most of your clients women? Do men have the same trauma and/or support?
Yes, they are all women. Absolutely, I imagine they do, that’s not my area of expertise though.
A lot of my women, I coach them through accepting how their partners react or deal with it, not all of them are male partners. We are all different people. For example when my daughter died, when our daughter died, I just wanted all of our friends to come over and cry on the couch with me, my husband didn’t really want that. He wanted to paint the house. I remember getting mad at him and thinking he’s grieving wrong. I remember him saying he’ll come in the house with me but that I have to understand that him being outside painting, that’s how he is grieving. I was grateful that he communicated that to me, because I thought he was grieving wrong, but it was just different.
I do think there’s a whole different level that men deal with, especially because from my experience (and clients), men want to fix it, but with infertility, you can’t just fix it. Even when you’re paying doctors to help fix it, they can’t always fix it, so I find that is a grief for men, that it’s kind of out of our control. That’s huge.
How have you had to pivot your business since Covid?
I launched my business in Covid, in April, so we had been shut down for about a month, didn’t expect to still be shut down, but here we are. I had envisioned doing most things via zoom anyways, most of my clients aren’t local, so I’m thankful I have that option. I do have some local clients and wanted to have more, including in person support groups, that’s not really happening, although I’ve pivoted to online with that. I think one of the main things when I realized Covid is really happening, is when I decided to really put out an online course.
I really wanted to make it cheaper for people, because one of the burriors for people was price. I can’t really change my price because my services work, and I’m worth my value but I did want to be able to change and give it to people in another way that they can work on it on their time and space. A lot of people have more time and space so pivoting in that way, actually really makes sense.
I’ve been getting a lot of positive feedback about the business pivot and I’m still working on more!
What is the importance of female friendships and females in your life? How has that shaped you? How has that shaped your business?
This is one of the main reasons I started coaching, I felt like a lot of women in my life were getting pregnant and I had a hard time dealing with it. I got jealous, I got envious. I was definitely taught those emotions aren’t good, and so I hid them and they would blow up in unhealthy ways because I was not acknowledging that they were there. As a result, I lost some important friendships in my life. I didn’t have anyone to talk to about it, my friends could listen, but I didn’t have anyone that KNEW what I was going through, someone that was four steps ahead of me.
That was the main reason I started coaching, I wanted to be there for these women. That is the number one thing I coach on is friendship with women who want to stay friends with their friends or sisters (etc.) that are pregnant because it’s really hard to show up and be like “YAY, i’m so happy for you.” I needed someone to tell me it was okay to feel awful you know, it’s okay. I hadn’t had that, because you just show up for your friends, and you go to their baby showers and act like everything is fine. This was just so difficult for me. On the flip side of that, it was difficult for my friends too, they didn’t know how to be on the other side of that. When they’re getting pregnant really easily, and here is Carrie, and she’s still trying.
I really wanted to bridge that gap. I think for me, female friendships are one of the most important aspects of my life. When I lost one of my really good friends in the beginning of my infertility journey, I felt like it was harder than any break up I’ve had with a romantic partner. I didn’t know how to deal with that or to grieve. With a romantic partner I was like you’re out of my life, I’m putting you over here, but with a girlfriend, it’s different. I just found myself wondering, how do I go about this? I really learned a lot from this.
What does being a boss babe mean to you? How has it impacted your life? What do you hope to see from other boss babes?
Showing up for women is something I’ve always loved, but not something I envisioned myself getting paid to do. Now that i’m doing it, it’s filling my heart with so much more than I ever expected.
Starting my new business has made me realize, I’m never done working on my business and I have to set boundaries with that because I love it so much. I always have new ideas about my classes.
One thing i’ve loved, is connecting with other women who run their own businesses and are thriving in their own spaces, and being like how do you do it? What makes you feel good, what doesn’t make you feel good? I love seeing other women thrive in a way that is healthy and successful. I love learning from other women, and what works for them.
I’ve connected with a lot of other new business women owners, in creating that collaboration over competition, i’ve really just love that.
Some important takeaways from our conversation:
- Understanding the psychology of people is important for every industry.
- If you like something, or don’t like something, it’s important to communicate that so people you’re working with/for etc, can make improvements.
- Don’t assume people will communicate how they’re feeling.
- Importance of women supporting other women.
- Collaboration over competition gets you further.
- Power of building other women up benefits everyone.
- Opening up to others is a real vulnerable position.
- Be aware, before you ask questions about marriage, babies and infertility.
- Some things are just none of your f**king business.
- Communication is key, if we don’t talk about things, we don’t know them.
- Sometimes as women, we just need to feel whatever it is we feel.
- Men and women process differently! Own it, love it, respect it.
- It’s an okay thing to let people go.
- Not every friend is going to be there for you the way you’re there for them.
- Boundaries are important so we don’t lose our mind!
- Healthcare for yourself is the most important thing. At the end of the day, no one will watch out for you the way that you will.
- Have respect and boundaries for female friendships – it builds on your friendship.
Recommendations:
- Read the Like Switch
If you were too lazy to click on the video above here it is embedded for you, you don’t have to go anywhere! YAY!
Please note, I did zero editing and you might have to ignore my laundry in the background.
Also, why has no one told me how annoying my voice is or how often I say “ya know” or “like” so much?!
Thank you all for joining us for the first ever BOSS BABE segment! We look forward to continuing this fun series with many local, amazing, fellow female entrepreneurs.
Carrie Hauskens from Blooming with Care is a goal life coach for women dealing with the side effects of infertility. Follow her on Instagram @bloomingwithcare.
Danie Schwartz Consulting is a full-service creative consulting firm, specializing in storytelling via copywriting, social media, and other visual arts. A perfect blend of creativity, energy, communication, brand, and strategy; we’re ready to bring your brand to the next level.
We’d love to connect with you, call us at (530) 636-0193 or email info@danieschwartz.com today! or Schedule a FREE consultation today!